Δεν μπορώ να πιστέψω ότι μπορώ να γράψω στα ελληνικά!!!

Καλημερα αγαπητοι φιλοι μου,

 Η βεραντα του ξενοδοχειου

Ξερω οτι θα νομιζετε οτι ειμαι πολυ ηλιθια οταν διαβαζετε αυτο το μπλογ μου. Αλλα ο μονο way να improve τα ελληνικα μου ειναι να γραψω στα ελληνικα. Ειστε free vα γελαζετε.

Δεω ηθελα καποια βοιθεια απο τουσελληνες φιλοι μοθ γιατι η πρωτη φορα στη ζωι μου δεν θα προσπαθησω να ειμαι perfect! Δεω ειναι πολυ δυσκολο για μενα αλλα θα το κανω αυτη τη φορα. Believe me ειναι πολυ enjoyable! Πρεπει να προσπαθετε.

Θα γραψω μερικα ηλιθια πραγματα εδω που εσεις δεν θα interested in και εσεις θα διαβασετε και γελασετε... Αλλα ειμαι πολυ χαρουμενη αω εσεις get back to me και encourage me a bit more.

Καποιοι φιλοι ξερουν ηδη αλλα yet θελω να πω οτι παιρνω μαθηματα ελληνικων για more than ενα χρονο στο ελλινικον προξενειο στην Istanbul.

Θυμαμαι οτι εγω memorized το ελλινικο αλφαβητο οταν ημουν 7. Still, δεν ξερω γιατι, αλλα εκανα. Εζεισα στην Izmir οταν ημουν 7, τωρα μενω στην Istanbul.

Ειμαι ψυχολογος και career coach και more than this αλλα δεω θελω να μιλησω για τα identities μου τωρα.

Το σπίτι του Ατατούρκ

Μου αρεσει ελληνικι γλοσσα γιατι μου αρεσουν πολυ ελληνικα τραγουδια παρα πολυ και τα ελληνικα νησια παρα πολυ. Μου αρεσε παντα πριν πηγα στην Ελλαδα.

Πηγα στη Θεσσαλονικη που looks like πατριδα μου, Izmir. Θεσσαλονικη ειναι πολυ ομορφη. In fact δεν πηγα εκει για ιστορικα buildings η δεν ηταν ενα business ταξιδι.

Ολοι ηταν τοσο γιλικο και ενιωσα τοσο ευτυχισμενη εκει. Ειμανα στο ξενοδοχειο Elektra Palace. Μου αρεσε πολυ βεραντα του ξενοδοχειου. Το προινω στην βεραντα ηταν καταπληκτικο. I'm παρα πολυ looking forward to going back εκει συντομα.

Επισκεφθηκα το σπιτι του Atatürk που ειναι σε μια ομορφη περιοχη.

Υπαρχει μια καταπληκτικη (ironic but true) ιστορικη dungeon  κατω απο την εκκλησια

Μετα, επισκεφθηκα μια ομορφη ιστορικη εκκλησια πολυ κοντα στο σπιτι του Ατατουρκ. Ξεχασα το ονομα της εκκλησιας.

Μετα. πηγα σε ενα καταστημα βιβλιο κοντα στη θαλασσα και περασα 1,5 ωρες εκει. Μου αρεσει πολυ βιβλιοπολειο.

Εφαγα σε μια ταβερωα, νομιζω οτι το ονομα του ηταν Βοσπορο.

Μου αρεσει να ταξιδευω μονη μου επειδη γνωριζω new people και νεα culture. 

Εγω promise the next φορα θα εχω καλυτερα ελληνικα αλλα δεν θελω να περιμενουν πολυ καιρο για αυτο.

Σας ευχαριστω πολυ για reading το μλογ μου και για τα μηνυματα σας,

Με πολυ best wishes μου απο την Ιστανμπουλ...

G. Nur Bilek

(Γ. Νουρ Μπιλεκ)

            Click Here to see my related blog post about Marios Frangoulis 

A Psychological Defense Mechanism: PROJECTION!

Have you ever known a person who has a strong dislike one of his friends and believes that his friend hates him instead? 

(Well, take your time and think about this for a while...)

Now the question is: Have you ever felt this way before?

Ok, no worries... No one will blame you for what you've felt before; it's just normal. This was only "Projection" which is one of the defense mechanisms according to the Freudian Psychoanalitic Theory (an unconscious psychological strategy which helps us to cope with the reality and maintain self-image)

Today I wanted to write about this subject as I always found it as one of the most interesting subjects of Psychology. 

"A Psychology degree was the only thing I have ever wanted to have as it was a perfect fit and very intellectually fulfilling for me. So, I am so happy I could be able to achieve one of my biggest goals in my life. However, I must confess that studying Psychology was quite challenging as it makes you to face the things inside that you were not aware of before, which have been in the unconscious part since the very early stage of your life.
If you are already a Psychology student... Welcome to an unusual journey to face the reality which might be a biting experience will last for a lifetime.. And once you step into the world of Psychology there's no turning back."

G. Nur Bilek

Let's go back to understand the nature of our defence mechanisms: A good news is normally a healty person use different defence mechanisms throughout life. It only becomes pathological when we use them persistently and our physical and/or mental health is adversely affected.

So, the question is: WHY do we use a defense mechanism? Well, the answer is very simple:

a) According to Freudian approach we all have Id, Ego and, Superego, the parts that make up a person's personality. Really, I don't wanna use psychological jargon when speaking to people who may not be familiar with psychological terms. So, let me make it clear for you. In a nutshell,

• The id seeks to fulfill all needs and impulses, obeys the pleasure principle: "Pleasure is good and – nothing else matters" while...
• The superego tries to get the ego to act in an idealistic and moral manner.
• And suddenly our ego arises and tries to cope with the conflicting demands of the id and the superego.

Freud's Iceberg Freud explained these concepts by comparing the human mind to a cleverly illustrated iceberg which has three parts.

Are you curious about how Freud called these concepts in his own language? Here are the original versions of the id, ego, and the superego.

Es	The id (in German)
Ich	The ego (in German)
Überich -over I-	The superego (in German)

Well, let's try to understand this. Superego is the component of the personality composed of our internalized behaviours that we have acquired from our parents and society while id represents our impulses, a selfish, childish, and pleasure-oriented part of the personality with no ability to delay gratification. Superego is our moral standards which tries to suppress the urges of the id and tries to make the ego behave morally, rahter than realistically. The id is without values, ethics and logic. Can you imagine the possible conflicts between the id and the superego?

So, what does ego do? Ego is the rational part that meditates immediate impulses of the id and the pressure from the superego. It delays immediate gratification till an appropriate time.

1.     Conscious: The visible part of the iceberg is the conscious part which is small. This is the part of the mind that hold what you are aware of.

2.     Preconscious: This is the ordinary memory. Though things stored here aren't in the conscious they can be readily brought in the conscious.

3.     Unconscious: Most of the contents of the unconscious are unacceptable or unpleasant, such as feelings of pain, anxiety, or conflict. According to Freud, the unconscious continues to influence our behavior and experience, even though we are unaware of these underlying influences.

b) Ego is the moderator between the id and superego which seeks compromises to pacify both. What happens when the ego cannot cope with the demands of the id and the superego? According to Freud anxiety, an unpleasant inner state that people avoid, arises and it acts as a signal for us that things are not going right!

                                                "εγώ" 

The word "Ego" comes from εγώ in Greek which means "I"

So let's go back to the example of the two friends above. I want to illustriate if for you! (Why I gave this example is a very close friend of mine is terribly annoyed by her colleague's (Mrs X) bahaviors towards her. Mrs X have a tendency to wear whatever my friend wears, and...

You feel actually jelaous of your X friend. (this feeling's source is id)

Then your superego says that you have a value, "jealousy" is a "bad", immature feeling to be resisted.

Your ego tries to cope with what the id feels and what the superego thinks. If it cannot... Projection may happen! And you believe that X friend is jealous of you...

What is PROJECTION? If a person has uncomfortable thoughts or feelings they may project it onto other people. In other words, projection is attributing your own unacceptable impulses to someone else. The impulses are still judged unacceptable but they belong to someone else, not you :)

Well, think about it again... Have you ever felt this way? No, you didn't? According to Freaudian Theory you probably did it many times which you have never been aware of as it happens in the unconscious part of your mind, somewhere deep, very deep and outside of your awareness...

* Racism is bad, right? This is what we are taught and socially unacceptable. If you have racist ideas while believing racism is socially undesirable you may feel that a friend is racist, projecting your own racism onto the other person.

* Projection can take a range of forms. Do you wonder how projection influences our decision making or purchasing decisions? Or it's better to ask "Did you have any difficulty when shopping for winter clothing in June?" Well, I think I can hear what you say :) Yes, always! We have a tendency to assume that our mental state will will remain consistent in the future, even though we are aware of winter will come soon!

* Psychological projection can be very important in interpersonal relationships, especially before attributing thoughts or ideas to someone else. Maybe it's better to try to analyze our own thoughts and beliefs before attributing a bad thought to others. Maybe the thoughts we dislike is seen in ourself.

* Do you have friends who does not trust anyone in his/her life? (Hope this is not a very close friend or boyfriend/girlfriend or supouse!) It's highly recommended to be on the safe side. There's a possibility of s/he does trust himself/herself and all s/he does it attributing what s/he feels to the other people around.

* An unfaithful husband may suspect his wife of infidelity.

* A chronically liar friend may suspect you of lying him/her.

Before judging people's thought towards us or the world, I think it's better to seek out more reliable sources on what someone else thinking. I know that's not easy, sometimes seems impossible, but studying psychology's taught us to trust in psychology science, hasn't it?

Well, I know I wanna talk too much when it's psychology as it seems to me an endless ocean and there's still an ocean left.

Finally, I'd be very happy if you share your thoughts, ideas and experiences with me!

"We are effectively cognitive icebergs with most of our 'thoughts' occurring below the water line."  

S. Freud

With my very best wishes,

GNB

My Colleague Did a Great Job!!!

Yes she did! Making me feel so proud of working in the same organization with her. And a question arised... Have you ever thought about the feeling of being proud of colleagues may increase the organizational commitment among employees? Maybe we should study on it? Though I studied on "Organizational commitment in cross-cultural environments" at university, I never mentioned about how a colleague could increase the motivation in a team. Wow!!! I just discovered a new thing! I love when my humble effort to arise my awareness to what is happening in the world or to discover the nature of  human being. Ohh, I think I should go back to my academic life again! (Uff, too much talking for an introductory part) 

I was at Indigo friday night to see the amazing Flamenco Show of Ángel Muñoz. Though this was not my first flamenco experience (anybody remembers the fantastic show at Sabanci University last year?) I must confess that Ángel has made the only show that hypnotise the audience. 

You may ask that how I will associate a fantastic flamenco show with my colleague's success... So, here's the story. 


Last week I was in a meeting of the new magazine we will publish and there was so much brain storming (I definitely love it as it does help you to know about your colleagues like nothing else can!). I highly recommend it if you have not tried it yet! I found out that the marketing manager, Tuğba, danced flamenco, and she knew about my high interest to dance during the meeting. And I was with an invitation for Ángel Muñoz's Dance Show in my hand at the end of the meeting. :) 

Right after the meeting she told me about what she was working on lately which was impressed me a lot and made me write to share what I heard about. She is the founder of the website www.buradaengellendim.com which you can hear about on TV programs recently. Let me explain some about the precious project. Basicly,

1) You take the photos of the roads, pavements, and all the constructions in public area that make inconvenience to the people with physical disabilities in public area. 

I choose this photo as it has reminded me
my childhood in my grandparents' farm 

2) Why do we do that? Because, if you take the photos of buildings and places that make inconvenience to the people with disabilities and load to the website (indicating the address on the google map), they will be fixed as soon as possible as the Burada Engellendim" project is continuously followed and officially suported by authorized people at the Metropolitan Municipalities.

3) When the inacurate construction is fixed "This is Fixed" note will be seen on the photo! :) That's it all!

I am aware of the parking problem in Istanbul...
but now I am also aware of  the difficulties disabled people face :(

Shall we be sensitive to disables before we have a disabled relative?

Special thanks to dear Tugba for all her efforts in creating www.buradaengellendim.com page and doing her best to announce it! (And I think I should not forget Ángel's super show too!) 

With my very best wishes & Have a great week all!

G.N.B.   

How a baboon is associated with a job seeker...

I'm watching Nat Geo Wild laying down on my sofa, doing one of the most relaxing things I can do after a looong day. 


I see some baby baboons trying to swim across the river with the help of other adult baboons. Then the camera focuses on a baby baboon doesn't get any help from other adult baboons. He has to swim alone in the wild river where full of hospitable(!) crocodiles are. The baby is aware of the danger and looks around with fearful eyes while trying to swim across the river. You can't imagine how lovely it is in spite of the horror in his eyes. Now I want to jump into the screen (btw thanks to HD broadcast!) and save him from the horible river. Seems interesting... 


While I'm thinking about the possible reasons, the narrator breaks the silence and explains: The adult baboons doesn't help that baby as all his relatives have already died. Can you believe the rest of the group doesn't help the baby because he has no relatives alive!? Does the story sound familiar to you???  

I know it doesn't sound a happy story, but this is real life! Now I'm curious, what did you think when you read about the documentary above? Somehow it's reminded me desperate job seekers have to fight alone against the wild business world full of educated crocodiles!

MILANO, MILANO...

Anyway... Now I have to get up prepare my suitcase as I'm leaving to Milano in two days. It's gonna be a huge show called "Host" and I know it's gonna be sooo tiring at the end of the day...

It's interesting but though I lived in Turin and Rome (I do love both cities btw!) somehow I have a little bit prejudice about Milan which is not that good. I must confess I've been to Milan only twice (without visiting the city- it's ironic!) once at the airport, the second one was te train station experience when I was going to Switzerland! So how come and I have this stupid prejudice before visiting a city!!!??? Would it be a "Berlusconi affect"? :) :) :) Oh Mio Dio! I guess I've just created a new word for Psychology jargon! If I modify it properly yes I can! "Berlusconiphobia" :) Anyway just kidding! It wouldn't be fair if I associate a city with the owner of its football club.

I should head out now to prepare my suitcase..

Wish you all a great week!

G.N.B. 

HE HYPNOTIZED ME on WEDNESDAY NIGHT!

(A Mario Frangoulis Experience)  

To start at the beginning: Though I never tried hypnosis when I was studying at university (people think that the first thing a psychology student learn is how to hypnotize J ) now I know what people feel when hypnosis puts a person in a hypnotic state.

Yes, I waited him sitting for one hour and a half, and I never complained. At the end of 1.5 hour I was in trance (that I wished it would have been the deepest one that would never make me up) in each second of yesterday night. Yes, finally, I was in Mario Frangoulis’ concert...

I had contemplated to go to listen to him in Greece and knowing that I never get fed up of listening to his songs, hopefully I will do that (You may think that I’m crazy (and I am), I can do that even this summer!) The thing I felt yesterday night I was so thirsty and drank only a glass of water, but still felt so thirsty. So I may go to Athens (most probably he would give the concert in Acropolis) just to listen to his concert for a couple of hours.

The songs had already been listened so many times before I went to his concert, and only 2 or 3 Greek songs were so new to me. But the funniest thing I did was trying to hear the Greek words I was familiar with J When he said “spitia”which means homes, I was like “Oh he’s singing about homeeees!” Hahaha J or when he said “dendro”which means tree, I was proud of myself as I understood couple of words finally. Btw some words in Greek are really no need to learn as in psychology jargon we use a lot of them a lot such as “dendrit” in brain, or the term “oedipus ”complex etc...

His voice is great but I don’t listen to him because of his splendid voice . He’s from Corfu (one of my dream islands in Ionian Sea) but I am not fan of him because of this too. He sings well-chosen fantastic songs such as Vincero’ Perdero’, Notte di Luce, Hijo de la Luna, but some other singers sing them too and I am not really fan of them. He’s well-educated, but this could be the strangest reason to listen to a singer J Or because of he has always been very much loved? No no no... Because he adds certain elegance when he sings? No, he is not the only elegant person I’ve ever met.

The thing I’ve learned in this life is honesty, grace and generosity of spirit are essential ingredients to the well-lived life worth living. The reason I appreciate him a lot is he represents a best of “humanity” for me which is rare to meet in such a chaotic, materialistic and, capitalist life. If you listen to the interviews which have been done with some other popular singers have known him well, you will understand what I really mean.

These are what I listened from some interviews:

“... he is very generous, very beautiful both appearance and the heart, of course he has a great voice but I think the most special thing is he is very beautiful human being.” Lara Fabian

“... I adore him I think he has a great character, and such a beautiful voice... a timeless voice!” Justin Hayward

As I observed him singing in his concerts and the TV programs and in his interviews, I didn’t need any of these praises to adore him indeed. The reason I published the thought above is I would like to draw your attention to the order of their praises: both are in the same order. When I heard others’ thoughts about Mario, the outstanding feature of his character was that of humanity: his honesty and loyalty in his life, and finally passion. Mario is just not a good looking 21st century tenor, but he’s the best combination of the great features above: a role model for both current and next generations. I now don’t know what caused Mario to be that good combination. Maybe because he was born in the heart of the Africa and saw the poor and the rich, lived north and the south, or maybe he was sent to Greece by his mother when he was only four. Whatever the reason is, it seems life has made him mature and I totally adore this final Mario! When I watch him I feel like I look at a mirror, that’s why I love him…

I have a very strong wish, from the bottom of my heart: I want so much all very dear people in my life, and whoever deserves, to have “a Mario” in their life, that sincerely smiling, that honest, that successful, that beautiful, that passionate, and that loyal.

Thanking him once again for making us live a fantastic night I must confess I already feel so excited for the next concert!

Before I finish I would recommend you to listen to his song that I might have listened to a thousand times http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfIDo6Bnjz4 .

With my very best wishes...

Gül

When he leaves me speechless...

"How does a part of the world leave the world?
How does wetness leave water?

Dont' try to put out fire by throwing on
more fire! Don't wash a wound with blood.

No matter how fast you run, your shadow
keeps up. Sometimes it's in front!

Only full overhead sun diminishes your shadow.
But that shadow has been serving you.

What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is
your candle. Your boundaries are your quest.

I could explain this, but it will break the
glass cover on your heart, and there's no
fixing that.

You must have shadow and light source both.
Listen, and lay your head under the tree of awe.

When from that tree feathers and wings sprout on you,
be quieter than a dove. Don't even open your mouth for
even a coo."

Mevlana Rumi

"A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
than you love me?

The beloved replied,
I have died to myself
and I live for you.

I've disappeared from myself
and my attributes.
I am present only for you.

I have forgotten all my learnings,
but from knowing you
I have become a scholar.

I have lost all my strength,
but from your power
I am able.

If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself."

Mevlana Rumi

When he talks, he silences me.. And I feel the peace somewhere deep inside at that moment.

Do not interpret my silence as refusal; silence gives consent.

He is my SUN.. Lightens my way in the dark. 

One more reason to be thankful to God.. 

Gül Nur Bilek

Nur in One of the Wonders of Istanbul: Princes' Islands!

Buyuk Ada
I fell in love with this beautiful villa, please see the phaeton:)

Dear friends, in 2010 summer I had a chance to see the Princes' Islands. As I had always heard about them, I wanted to go and visit the islands as soon as I got the chance. One is called Büyük Ada (the largest and the most famous one), which is translated as “large island” to English. As you can easily understand “ada” means “island”. Uff, I’m really sorry, somehow I can not stop the teacher inside J If one of your parents is a teacher, you always have him/her inside of you, even if you never want, and that means you always love to share the info with the people around. Uff, too much talk, that’s enough! Let me show you a photo of lovely Büyük Ada.

 

Unique Cultural Synthesis of Byzantine, Ottoman, Turkish and Western Cultures

I LOVED THIS PHOTO! Not taken by me. Buyuk Ada in Autumn.
But I'll go (inşallah) back there to take autumn photos next year..

The tour of the island is one of the greatest joys! If you go to Büyük Ada you should try phaeton which takes you all over the island. One of the best things of the island is motor vehicles are not permitted on the island, so people walk or rent a bicycle or horse-drawn carriage, even ride a donkey! :)

But if I prefered to to see the island by walking till I got exhausted, thanks God I found one phaeton around on the way back. Don't worry it's very easy, you can see them anywhere around.   

Another awesome villa :)



Buyuk Ada is famous for its splendid villas. GOD GRANT ME ONE Pleasee! (I wrote it in pink to make my wish seem lovelier, you think it works?)
Here's the another photo! Each of the houses is very beautiful. I was impressed so much that while I was leaving the island I found myself thinking of how I could manage to settle down on the island.


HOW TO GO TO THE ISLANDS?

Taken from my helicopter :)
Hehe, just kidding! Of course not!
Coz I left mine in Istanbul :))

That's easy! You just take a ferry or fast passenger ferry (sea bus) from different piers of the city, Istanbul, and after half an hour sea travel you arrive at the first island.
If you wanna go to Büyük Ada which is the biggest one, you have to complete 1 hour sea travel, because Buyuk Ada is the last island.


 SEA TRIP WITH LJVELY DOLPHINS

You'll definitely love the trip accompanied by friendly dolphins!

In my first trip to the islands I totally focused on the sea to see a group of dolphin. Well, could I? Yes I diiiiiidd!!! It was great to see them jumping out of the water.

To be honest, this is not taken by me :) But what could I do?
I couldn't manage to take a photo of them as I didn't waste
my time preparing the camera while fantastic dolphins were
 jumping out of the water!:)

Btw, you can also see them if you look at the Bosphorus carefully! Ahaha, it sounds like "You can even see the Smurfs if you become a good kid" Anyone who never watched The Smurfs? I was totally a fan of them, I can still watch it. Uff, too much talk again!

From 6th Century: AYA YORGI CHURCH & MONASTERY

No worries, I'm not gonna tell you the history of the church:) 

But the question is: If you are a Middle Eastern, a European or an Asian it's ok, you may skip reading the details when you see something from the 6th century; what if you are an American? 



One of my American friends had his holiday in the Aegean costs of Turkey this summer. You should have seen his face when he saw historical structures from the 5th century B.C. I guess the reason is it's a bit (!) earlier than landing of Christopher Columbus in the Americas :) God I really talk too much! Somebody should stop me, please!

What I would like to tell about is Aya Yorgi Church and Monastery which has been on the top of the hill on the Buyuk Ada. There is also a very nice restaurant where you can eat or drink.

Suddenly I found myself praying in the church with a great peace inside. As a muslim, I must confess that I can pray anywhere reminds me God; and also anywhere to remember God.  

Every 23rd of April, on the day of St. George, thousands of Greeks and Turks come to Aya Yorgi Church and a great celebration takes place in Buyuk Ada. 

INSALLAH ?

Means "If God wants/let me" in Islam. And I know that it is writen also in the Bible.

What I want to tell is whenever I said "I'm gonna do this/go there etc..." I could never managed to to do it. And I also know that, as Robbie said, "I sit and talk to God, and he just laughes at my plans." So, insallah I would like to see 23rd of April celebrations this year in Buyuk Ada. So, what do you think, is "inşallah" enough to make my wish come true, or should I write it in pink? I think I have been taught the answer very well.

You can ride a donkey to climb on the top of the hill to get to the Aya Yorgi Church :)

 Finally, let me show you a very interesting trash can! I guess the people in Buyuk Ada are so gentile that they even take care of the empty water bottles and do anything they can for their convinience :) Please see the swing made for the empty bottles!

The photos are great, but believe me the atmosphere in Buyuk Ada is much greater. Yet, if you still would like to see more photos click on the link below:

http://www.google.com.tr/images?hl=tr&biw=1006&bih=421&q=b%C3%BCy%C3%BCk+ada&rlz=1R2ADBF_enTR400&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=univ&ei=NQAiTdGgKI-38gOMvJGLBQ&sa=X&oi=image_result_group&ct=title&resnum=1&ved=0CCwQsAQwAA 

My dear friends, thank you very much for the feedbacks!

I love you all :)

G.N.B.